You are the controller of your life.

You are the controller of your life.

Have you ever had times where you feel like you lose control of situations? Offline or online? Personal issues? Career? Or just life? In reality you have full control in anything that happens in your life.

When I was 16 I got cyber bullied and went into depression. Then one day my father told me snap out of it do not let your heart and mind control you. Stand up tall and show that you control your body your body does not control you. That is honestly the best motivational advice I have ever got, it has been keeping me going for such a long time. I recently got heart broken in a long term relationship out of the blue he just left and started saying horrible things. My heart just dropped I experienced a sick feeling in my throat my chest felt heavy I could not think right I just wanted to cry and cry. My mind started to believe all the words he was saying to me they just repeated over and over again, I could not stop thinking about him. But then I remembered that one advice from my father. I thought to myself am I really like that? Am I all those hurtful words he called me? Why should he describe who I am? I realised he had control of my mind it was filled with his opinions and his words. In reality I was nothing like that I started taking control of my mind and I told myself I’m beautiful, Im confident, I’m special…. Slowly my life turned more positive and yes the words still made me feel low and I thought maybe I’m just kidding myself that’s when my heart comes in and my feelings but sometimes you have to fight against your own body to be in control otherwise these words from these people will make you believe it they will start to control your mind and heart and you will feel like you have no control in life.

My advice would be is to stay strong and you should be in control it’s your body, your feelings and your life. I understand its hard maybe you should note down the things you want to be or become if you think so negative about yourself and just in your mind believe that you are these things and you can be it. Don’t let your own self put up down you are in charge no one else show life who is the boss keep your head up high and prove to everyone even yourself no matter how much you get knocked down you can stand right back up with a smile. So promise me that you will be in control of yourself no matter how much you push yourself down you will stand right up and prove yourself wrong.

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What's wrong with just being you?

What’s wrong with just being you?

Ask yourself these questions… why are you insecure? Do you like the way you look? Why does it matter? Doesn’t who you are inside count too?

Everyone is beautiful in their unique way, but everyone has flaws does not mean you need to be insecure. Two years ago I used to have anxiety I was scared about what people would say or think about me I still do sometimes but it is not as bad as before. I got over it when I really stressed about people saying things about me even people I do not know I used to walk around so paranoid I just build this some sort of fear inside me but these people never ever approached me that is when I realised I was really stressing over nothing these situation has happened to me so many times that I am used to it I do not let it get to me people anymore. Inside I knew I am a bubbly happy person full of light I help so many people in reality such as relationships, education and just to be a friend I try so hard to be there for people just so they do not go through what I have been through and these people I have helped have once hurt me but as a person I do not let it get to me because I know I am not a bad person but they do not like the way I dress or the way I do my hair well I do not care and neither should you.

Almost everyone judges it is life no matter what you do even if you are not yourself people will judge you so it is best to honestly just to be you. Never ever let these situation change the person you are inside and let that personality glow on the outside never pretend to be someone you are not it would just create a wall inside of your heart to stop you from glowing it would make you quite upset for a very long time do not make the mistake I did and barrier that inner glow in you. Once I started being myself I was so much happier I did what I want and said what I want it makes life so much easier people say things but it does not knock me down. It is not easy but take a step at a time it to me two years but it is worth it in the end.

So just be yourself and do not let people put you down or you put yourself down. Be happy and live life at its fullest like I said almost everyone judges but do not let it bother you it would not follow you from long even if it does you know you are not like that so do not let it get to you. So if you are reading this just always be happy and promise me you will be yourself, what is inside matters not out. Thank you for reading I hope I helped and advised well if you need help or support just message me. Also read my previous posts as they may help you and advise you.

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If you want to be strong, learn to fight alone.

If you want to be strong, learn to fight alone.

Honestly being alone isn’t that bad. It may seem pretty scary at first I understand, but soon you will realise what you can do alone, who you truly are.

I’ll be honest im a very needy person and I always need someone. But I always get hurt I prefer to be alone but I get attached to people easily. Its like when im doing so well alone I just get attached to someone and I become so needy. They always end up hurting me and I don’t want to get hurt anymore and I think neither do you want to get hurt.

When I was going through depression due to me getting bullied my phone got token off me and I was leaving school going to college I didn’t have much friends either. I was alone and I didn’t communicate with anyone other than my family and I realised I was happier. It was actually people that made me sad at first it was hard but later I got used to it and I was so much happier. I started to read books, paint I even joined the gym. I finally found out who I truly was and I was me without stress without anyone just me myself and I. Then I was given my phone back and to be honest I didn’t want it back because I knew it would destroy me and to be honest that’s exactly what it did the stress was just killing me as I felt the need I always needed to reply once I had a message. When someone got angry at me I got scared but to be honest in reality it’s just a phone and its silly getting angry over cyber space and beating yourself up about it. I looked around and realised im in my living room im safe im fine and I should be happy as I should be concentrating about reality not cyber space.

In my opinion I think the cyber world ruins people if you agree or not. Also some people face to face do hurt you a lot but never let it drag you down and to be honest the way to success is to be independent and spend some time alone and truly find out who you are. If you can’t be happy with yourself how are you going to be happy with other people in your life? Im not saying isolate yourself im just saying spend some time on you too. Thank you for reading I hope I helped and advised well if you need help or support just message me. Also read my previous posts as they may help you and advise you.

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People mistake my kindness for weakness and take advantage of our friendship.

People mistake my kindness for weakness and take advantage of our friendship.

Have you ever felt token advantage of? Or even used? Trust me, I think everyone has and people always mistake your kindness for a weakness that something they use it against you.

Honestly I have been there too. Im known as a normal quite shy girl who is “too nice” but I have learnt from my mistakes that you have to toughen up whether you feel bad about it or not. You need to learn if you be too nice you have to be prepared to get hurt it is life. As a person I be nice to people from the heart honestly but they always use me and take advantage and it is kind of sad to say im used to it. They sometimes laugh at me but I know I didn’t be nice for a certain reason I did it from the kindness of my heart and to be honest they are the fools because I don’t need them they need me in the end of the day. So never regret to be nice but always be prepared make yourself strong enough for anything that would come your way.

Once I used to be very nice to this guy, used to pay for his food, help with his work and a lot more. I used to be nice from the kindness of my heart because I just wanted to make friends but the more I try the more I get hurt it always happens and it still does but the worst part was when this friend started taking advantage stopped being grateful. He got greedy and kept asking and asking for more. He was the type to back bite but I’m not like that I don’t judge people I don’t back bite and slowly it really annoyed me I started to see what kind of person he truly was. He got to the point where he started swearing at me but I still was being nice, I stood up for myself one day because I wasn’t really happy being his friend. In the end of the day the fact is he needed me I didn’t need him, he wasn’t doing anything good for me except hurt me. I did get really hurt and upset I cried my eyes out because I was being so nice to this person and he just took advantage of me. I just locked my feelings away I stopped talking to people much to avoid being nice because when I get attached to someone I be too nice and I always get hurt.

But I got taught that everyone is different and you will always get hurt for being too nice its part of life. Only you allow someone to take advantage of you as you are the only one that can put a stop to it before it gets too late. You can’t be nice to someone if you cannot be nice to yourself. Instead of worrying how that person would feel worry about how you feel. So you better promise me if you’re reading this that you would put yourself first. Thank you for reading and I hope my blog has motivated you and has inspired you. If you need anyone to talk to or just a friend feel free to message me, thanks.

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The quietest people have the loudest minds

The quietest people have the loudest minds

Are you one of those quiet people that sit on one side and try to get involved? Or do you feel intimidated by louder people? Bullies or even just loud people in general. Sometimes it makes you feel like going into a corner or backing down, even really insecure.

Well to be honest maybe there is a reason why people are loud, they have been through things in life but ever one shows it in different ways. Some loud people that look confident hide these problems. However some become bullies and feel they need to take their anger out on someone and they mainly aim for the quiet people. Bullies show weakness and insecurity as they have no right picking on anyone. They should understand quiet people are strong not weak! If they can put up with their bullies and their personal problems without showing it or expressing it they are truly strong on the inside. You must have heard the quote “the quietest people have the loudest minds” well I am quite a quiet person and I don’t talk too much because when I do I end up talking too much because I have things going on in my mind I always think so im scared id let out too much information to people I hardly know so I remain quiet at times. Sometimes quiet people prefer to observe people before meeting them or observe the environment and how people behave and they decide whether they can trust them or not that maybe an advantage of being quiet sometimes.

When I was a child I went through a lot of things but I never used to show my feelings to my family as we had a lot of family problems I just sat there and watched everyone argue. Yes it did used to hurt me but I used to see different faced of my family everyday now that I have grown up I know how each of my family members are like and how I should act around them. I tried raising my confidence once and I tried making friends I came out of my comfort zone and made friends with a couple of girls as I was a tomboy. They made me feel like I could trust them, they said “you can talk to us about anything, were like your sister” and I just opened up to them told them about my life. I fell out with one of the girls after a few days as she was making fun of me and judged me with another girl and she told the teacher I was too open and I’m emotional and stuff like that. I got into trouble as the blame came on me since then it knocked down my confidence as they were loud girls and I was quiet going through things in life plus I was the youngest out of them. After  a month or two I accepted the fact people will judge me but I have to keep myself to myself so I tried making new friends and I hid my emotions and I threw on this fake act that I was this confident girl and people started to like me better as I didn’t show my emotional side. But every month I will have a day where I broke down I just cried and let everything out and the friends I had were there for me.

So in life it’s good to be quiet but it’s also good to be loud you should be a mix of both but never a bully. Hiding your emotions is the strongest thing anyone can do and to accept the fact you have to ignore these emotions is even strong. You should just try and be confident make some new friends even if it’s a fake act but you will realise after a month or two who your real friends are and they are the friends you can have heart to heart conversations with. You don’t have to do this alone you just have to step out of your comfort zone sometimes it sounds easy but trust me I know it is hard it too me some time as well if you need help or tips just message me on my social media accounts. I hope I helped you and if you felt I have offended you I am strongly sorry and my aim is to motive people in life.

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Don’t let your dreams just be dreams

Don’t let your dreams just be dreams

Has anyone told you not to chase your dreams? Told you that you're silly? They are the silly ones not you! Do you have dreams you want to achieve? Do you live in a dream world? Well the best people do. Everyone has dreams, some may seem impossible to achieve, but they are achievable if you are willing to work hard for it! If you just give up then you weren't passionate about it and it wasn't truly your dream, you would never give up something your passionate about.

I used to love art and singing I was quite good at it, every time I was upset I would hide my feelings with art or singing. Im a good drawer, I wanted to be an artist and sell painting or drawing, but one day someone told me that’s silly you won’t get any money with it your paintings and drawings aren't that good you will just earn a few pennies, since that day I've never picked up a paint brush. They said not to keep it as a main job just keep it as a hobby on the side, but I was so put off I wasn't bothered anymore. After a year I realised that wasn't my true passion, it wasn't my true dream. My ex-boyfriend once proposed to me, I always hinted out my dream proposal hoping he will make it come true. However the one he gave me was not really romantic at all... It kind of upset me. He knew what I wanted, but I just said yes anyway because I loved him. We sat down and I told him about my dream house and what I would have in there, how many bedrooms, I even drew up a floor plan of it. He told me to stop living in a dream world, snap out of it and come into reality. He said we were going to live with his parents and grandma, he told me you have a home already built, why would you want to start over a build a new one? its silly. But it has always been my dream since a child to have this home, it is not a big home it is quite small. I tried persuading him, but he was totally against it and he just wanted to live with his parents. I was so passionate about it that I thought you know what if he cannot give me my dream proposal, bought me a £9 ring as well... Then I do not want to spend my life with a guy who discourages me from my dreams, who doesn't support me. I went home upset and I messaged my best friend at the time saying my dreams will never come true their all fake. She asked me, what makes me say that? I responded, I always had this dream house and it's really silly, because it would never happen. She told me I was silly, not because of my dream, because I wanted to stop dreaming. She said it is realistic and it is possible. I just have to wake up and make it happen, by getting a good education, a well-paid job, a husband who is looking to chase my dreams with me. Then buy some land, hire some builders finally go and create that dream. I found my true dream, my life goal and how to achieve it. I was so passionate about it, I am willing to work hard for it. I know it wouldn't happen in a click of a finger, but I have to do it step by step, it just takes time.

Next time someone tells you to snap out of it and come into reality, just say to them I am in reality. Tell them how you will make that dream real and prove them all wrong! You're not the silly one for dreaming, but you will be the silly one for stopping to dream and believe in yourself. You are a strong person who can get somewhere in life, just by dreaming and being passionate. So I want you to promise me that you will never stop chasing your dreams ,because they all can come true!

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Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

Do you feel like your parents are not involved in your life as much? Do you feel like you are pushing them away? The reason is they are growing old... Sometimes you have to realise your parents are getting old and weak and they cannot function the way they used to. Maybe you have moved on in life, but this doesn’t mean you forget the people that have raised you maybe it’s time for you to raise them.

My mother has had four strokes I’ve seen her suffer through them but before her strokes me and my mother used to argue a lot we never used to communicate well I used to get angry that I always had to do the cleaning etc I used to get so fed up that should didn’t help. Since she had the stroke I saw her throwing up blood, going weak, my eyes opened... I almost losing my mother that day... It touched my heart so much I was in shock that is when I realised my mum is growing old she raised me now it’s my turn to raise her. Now me and my mother talk like we're best friends I tell her everything we gossip about boys and girly stuff I don’t mind doing the cooking or cleaning anymore she didn’t mind cooking for me when I was small, she didn’t say nothing when I dirty my trousers during potty training. So why should I complain about cleaning dirty dishes or clothing.

Sometimes you have to notice that your parents will need your support one day the way they supported you to stand on your own two feet. They have been there for you since you were born and they never left neither should you. Respect and love them until it is too late. So maybe just a small phone call a day or week can make their day.

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