If you want to be strong, learn to fight alone.

If you want to be strong, learn to fight alone.

Honestly being alone isn’t that bad. It may seem pretty scary at first I understand, but soon you will realise what you can do alone, who you truly are.

I’ll be honest im a very needy person and I always need someone. But I always get hurt I prefer to be alone but I get attached to people easily. Its like when im doing so well alone I just get attached to someone and I become so needy. They always end up hurting me and I don’t want to get hurt anymore and I think neither do you want to get hurt.

When I was going through depression due to me getting bullied my phone got token off me and I was leaving school going to college I didn’t have much friends either. I was alone and I didn’t communicate with anyone other than my family and I realised I was happier. It was actually people that made me sad at first it was hard but later I got used to it and I was so much happier. I started to read books, paint I even joined the gym. I finally found out who I truly was and I was me without stress without anyone just me myself and I. Then I was given my phone back and to be honest I didn’t want it back because I knew it would destroy me and to be honest that’s exactly what it did the stress was just killing me as I felt the need I always needed to reply once I had a message. When someone got angry at me I got scared but to be honest in reality it’s just a phone and its silly getting angry over cyber space and beating yourself up about it. I looked around and realised im in my living room im safe im fine and I should be happy as I should be concentrating about reality not cyber space.

In my opinion I think the cyber world ruins people if you agree or not. Also some people face to face do hurt you a lot but never let it drag you down and to be honest the way to success is to be independent and spend some time alone and truly find out who you are. If you can’t be happy with yourself how are you going to be happy with other people in your life? Im not saying isolate yourself im just saying spend some time on you too. Thank you for reading I hope I helped and advised well if you need help or support just message me. Also read my previous posts as they may help you and advise you.

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People mistake my kindness for weakness and take advantage of our friendship.

People mistake my kindness for weakness and take advantage of our friendship.

Have you ever felt token advantage of? Or even used? Trust me, I think everyone has and people always mistake your kindness for a weakness that something they use it against you.

Honestly I have been there too. Im known as a normal quite shy girl who is “too nice” but I have learnt from my mistakes that you have to toughen up whether you feel bad about it or not. You need to learn if you be too nice you have to be prepared to get hurt it is life. As a person I be nice to people from the heart honestly but they always use me and take advantage and it is kind of sad to say im used to it. They sometimes laugh at me but I know I didn’t be nice for a certain reason I did it from the kindness of my heart and to be honest they are the fools because I don’t need them they need me in the end of the day. So never regret to be nice but always be prepared make yourself strong enough for anything that would come your way.

Once I used to be very nice to this guy, used to pay for his food, help with his work and a lot more. I used to be nice from the kindness of my heart because I just wanted to make friends but the more I try the more I get hurt it always happens and it still does but the worst part was when this friend started taking advantage stopped being grateful. He got greedy and kept asking and asking for more. He was the type to back bite but I’m not like that I don’t judge people I don’t back bite and slowly it really annoyed me I started to see what kind of person he truly was. He got to the point where he started swearing at me but I still was being nice, I stood up for myself one day because I wasn’t really happy being his friend. In the end of the day the fact is he needed me I didn’t need him, he wasn’t doing anything good for me except hurt me. I did get really hurt and upset I cried my eyes out because I was being so nice to this person and he just took advantage of me. I just locked my feelings away I stopped talking to people much to avoid being nice because when I get attached to someone I be too nice and I always get hurt.

But I got taught that everyone is different and you will always get hurt for being too nice its part of life. Only you allow someone to take advantage of you as you are the only one that can put a stop to it before it gets too late. You can’t be nice to someone if you cannot be nice to yourself. Instead of worrying how that person would feel worry about how you feel. So you better promise me if you’re reading this that you would put yourself first. Thank you for reading and I hope my blog has motivated you and has inspired you. If you need anyone to talk to or just a friend feel free to message me, thanks.

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The quietest people have the loudest minds

The quietest people have the loudest minds

Are you one of those quiet people that sit on one side and try to get involved? Or do you feel intimidated by louder people? Bullies or even just loud people in general. Sometimes it makes you feel like going into a corner or backing down, even really insecure.

Well to be honest maybe there is a reason why people are loud, they have been through things in life but ever one shows it in different ways. Some loud people that look confident hide these problems. However some become bullies and feel they need to take their anger out on someone and they mainly aim for the quiet people. Bullies show weakness and insecurity as they have no right picking on anyone. They should understand quiet people are strong not weak! If they can put up with their bullies and their personal problems without showing it or expressing it they are truly strong on the inside. You must have heard the quote “the quietest people have the loudest minds” well I am quite a quiet person and I don’t talk too much because when I do I end up talking too much because I have things going on in my mind I always think so im scared id let out too much information to people I hardly know so I remain quiet at times. Sometimes quiet people prefer to observe people before meeting them or observe the environment and how people behave and they decide whether they can trust them or not that maybe an advantage of being quiet sometimes.

When I was a child I went through a lot of things but I never used to show my feelings to my family as we had a lot of family problems I just sat there and watched everyone argue. Yes it did used to hurt me but I used to see different faced of my family everyday now that I have grown up I know how each of my family members are like and how I should act around them. I tried raising my confidence once and I tried making friends I came out of my comfort zone and made friends with a couple of girls as I was a tomboy. They made me feel like I could trust them, they said “you can talk to us about anything, were like your sister” and I just opened up to them told them about my life. I fell out with one of the girls after a few days as she was making fun of me and judged me with another girl and she told the teacher I was too open and I’m emotional and stuff like that. I got into trouble as the blame came on me since then it knocked down my confidence as they were loud girls and I was quiet going through things in life plus I was the youngest out of them. After  a month or two I accepted the fact people will judge me but I have to keep myself to myself so I tried making new friends and I hid my emotions and I threw on this fake act that I was this confident girl and people started to like me better as I didn’t show my emotional side. But every month I will have a day where I broke down I just cried and let everything out and the friends I had were there for me.

So in life it’s good to be quiet but it’s also good to be loud you should be a mix of both but never a bully. Hiding your emotions is the strongest thing anyone can do and to accept the fact you have to ignore these emotions is even strong. You should just try and be confident make some new friends even if it’s a fake act but you will realise after a month or two who your real friends are and they are the friends you can have heart to heart conversations with. You don’t have to do this alone you just have to step out of your comfort zone sometimes it sounds easy but trust me I know it is hard it too me some time as well if you need help or tips just message me on my social media accounts. I hope I helped you and if you felt I have offended you I am strongly sorry and my aim is to motive people in life.

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Don’t let your dreams just be dreams

Don’t let your dreams just be dreams

Has anyone told you not to chase your dreams? Told you that you're silly? They are the silly ones not you! Do you have dreams you want to achieve? Do you live in a dream world? Well the best people do. Everyone has dreams, some may seem impossible to achieve, but they are achievable if you are willing to work hard for it! If you just give up then you weren't passionate about it and it wasn't truly your dream, you would never give up something your passionate about.

I used to love art and singing I was quite good at it, every time I was upset I would hide my feelings with art or singing. Im a good drawer, I wanted to be an artist and sell painting or drawing, but one day someone told me that’s silly you won’t get any money with it your paintings and drawings aren't that good you will just earn a few pennies, since that day I've never picked up a paint brush. They said not to keep it as a main job just keep it as a hobby on the side, but I was so put off I wasn't bothered anymore. After a year I realised that wasn't my true passion, it wasn't my true dream. My ex-boyfriend once proposed to me, I always hinted out my dream proposal hoping he will make it come true. However the one he gave me was not really romantic at all... It kind of upset me. He knew what I wanted, but I just said yes anyway because I loved him. We sat down and I told him about my dream house and what I would have in there, how many bedrooms, I even drew up a floor plan of it. He told me to stop living in a dream world, snap out of it and come into reality. He said we were going to live with his parents and grandma, he told me you have a home already built, why would you want to start over a build a new one? its silly. But it has always been my dream since a child to have this home, it is not a big home it is quite small. I tried persuading him, but he was totally against it and he just wanted to live with his parents. I was so passionate about it that I thought you know what if he cannot give me my dream proposal, bought me a £9 ring as well... Then I do not want to spend my life with a guy who discourages me from my dreams, who doesn't support me. I went home upset and I messaged my best friend at the time saying my dreams will never come true their all fake. She asked me, what makes me say that? I responded, I always had this dream house and it's really silly, because it would never happen. She told me I was silly, not because of my dream, because I wanted to stop dreaming. She said it is realistic and it is possible. I just have to wake up and make it happen, by getting a good education, a well-paid job, a husband who is looking to chase my dreams with me. Then buy some land, hire some builders finally go and create that dream. I found my true dream, my life goal and how to achieve it. I was so passionate about it, I am willing to work hard for it. I know it wouldn't happen in a click of a finger, but I have to do it step by step, it just takes time.

Next time someone tells you to snap out of it and come into reality, just say to them I am in reality. Tell them how you will make that dream real and prove them all wrong! You're not the silly one for dreaming, but you will be the silly one for stopping to dream and believe in yourself. You are a strong person who can get somewhere in life, just by dreaming and being passionate. So I want you to promise me that you will never stop chasing your dreams ,because they all can come true!

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Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

Do you feel like your parents are not involved in your life as much? Do you feel like you are pushing them away? The reason is they are growing old... Sometimes you have to realise your parents are getting old and weak and they cannot function the way they used to. Maybe you have moved on in life, but this doesn’t mean you forget the people that have raised you maybe it’s time for you to raise them.

My mother has had four strokes I’ve seen her suffer through them but before her strokes me and my mother used to argue a lot we never used to communicate well I used to get angry that I always had to do the cleaning etc I used to get so fed up that should didn’t help. Since she had the stroke I saw her throwing up blood, going weak, my eyes opened... I almost losing my mother that day... It touched my heart so much I was in shock that is when I realised my mum is growing old she raised me now it’s my turn to raise her. Now me and my mother talk like we're best friends I tell her everything we gossip about boys and girly stuff I don’t mind doing the cooking or cleaning anymore she didn’t mind cooking for me when I was small, she didn’t say nothing when I dirty my trousers during potty training. So why should I complain about cleaning dirty dishes or clothing.

Sometimes you have to notice that your parents will need your support one day the way they supported you to stand on your own two feet. They have been there for you since you were born and they never left neither should you. Respect and love them until it is too late. So maybe just a small phone call a day or week can make their day.

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Be yourself because an original is worth more than a copy

Be yourself because an original is worth more than a copy

Have you ever felt so insecure about the way you look? Honestly don’t! I think you are all beautiful every face is different and special. You should never stop loving yourself or beating yourself up about the way you look.

I’ll be honest I was insecure about the way I looked but I got over it I just looked in the mirror and I realised I was born with this face I can’t change I just have to live with it and accept it. Honestly I do not wear foundation or a lot of makeup I only wear eyeliner because I learnt that why should I put make up on just to look good when I go out no one has a right to judge me! That day I learnt to love myself I became stronger. I got called ugly a lot of times in the past but I just asked myself two things, is it true? So I looked in the mirror and I thought my face could be a lot worse than it is now, so no it is not true. Then I asked myself another question, do I care? Do I really care what people think about my looks? If they were really my friends or someone I should notice they would be noticing what is inside, which is me, my personality but no they judged me from what is outside so no I do not care and neither should you because you are beautiful.

In school I used to get judged a lot and it dropped my confidence so much I used to be alone all the time at break I was just alone they all laughed at me and I put up with it. But one day I realised is anyone by side? No it was just me, myself and I. Why should I hate myself my looks my everything when I am alone I should love myself as I am the only person I have. So I started college I decided I should change I should love myself I should be happy! So that is what I did I pushed myself into becoming confident even if I didn’t want to I had to! I didn’t care about the way I looked I was happy and people loved me for who I was inside not outside I got accepted once in my life. A girl from my college went to my school and we didn’t really talk much but now she considered me as a best friend. So one day I asked her what people in school said about me, she told me they said oh look at her she dresses up like a tramp. The funny thing is I looked back and I realised these people who said these things have gone on where in life they are just trapped in a box where looks mean everything I just laugh at them they need to see there is a bigger world out there other than looks. What is surprising is a guy from school asked me out and he was popular and used to make fun of me now I’ve grown up his noticed I have an amazing personality I have friends who are successful and that makes him want me but I said no! I am better than that! I should have someone who loves me as me not for my looks just because I’ve grown up.

So yes people will judge you never ever let it bring you down who are these people? What rights do they have to judge and honestly are they better than you? Are they worth you thinking low about yourself? Just one thing before I end this article, you are beautiful and when everyone leaves you will only have yourself so learn to love yourself.

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Sometimes you have to let go and be free

Sometimes you have to let go and be free

Have you ever left someone who is just impossible to forget? Its difficult right? It feels like you just cannot get that person out of your life no matter how hard you try. But there not physically in your but there mentally in your life, in your mind.

This is quite a personal story of mine I was with a guy for four years on and off he hurt me a lot but I loved him its quite silly when I think about how immature I was. He would date me and then overnight he would dump me like I was nothing I didn’t mean anything to him or anyone like I was just something you just dump. He hurt me so much he was more of  a bully than a lover, he used me to get me into fights, into arguments and I used to cry every night thinking where did I go wrong what did I do that was so bad to him that I deserved this? Everyone told me to leave him but I just couldn’t I was so attached because some days he made me laugh, he made me smile he made me feel like the only girl in the world. I had things going on at home I didn’t get much attention he was the only person that gave me attention but I didn’t notice how badly he was destroying me. Until it was too late and I ignored all my friends, I lost them I was alone only had him no one else then he bullied me so much with four other guys that I tried to kill myself on webcam I went into depression but he still didn’t stop but im glad I let go now I’ve blocked him out of my life im so happy I got away before it was too late I do not regret leaving him ever! All the pain he gave me erased these good memories.

So honestly if you feel like you are not happy with someone or the way they treat just let them go it’s your life not theirs they have no right over and sometimes it’s best to let go before it is too late. I believe you can be happy and honestly you don’t need someone to keep you happy it is your job to make yourself happy. I want you to be happy I want the whole world to be full of laughter but it you are upset just let go and be free. Yes you do have memories but just keep them as memories the past is the past no time for regret just live a life you want to remember everyday every minute is a memory so make it worth it which I am sure is not being upset all the time. So smile and just let go of any pain.

 

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Don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone

 

Don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone

You shouldn’t be scared to stand up for what you think is right as in the end of the day it’s your opinion and your own gut feeling, no one can change that or can make you feel bad. Therefore you should stick up for yourself and others as allowing someone to just push you down and make you go against your beliefs would make you feel weak however I believe you are not weak.

Once during my school days my friends where bullying this girl she was a sweet and innocent girl they thought I would join them and bully her because I was there friends but I stood up and I said no. I lost five friends that day but I saved someone really nice from getting bullied as I have been bullied in the past and it is not a very nice feeling and no one should go through it that is my belief and I stood up for it and for that girl. Yes I was alone but I was not afraid they couldn’t say nothing because it is wrong to bully some.

So if anyone ever pressurises you into doing anything wrong all you have to say is no. just one simple word with two letters but if your believe is going to hurt someone or put them into harm I would believe that is wrong as the world should be a big community and respect one another.

Sometimes it is scary thinking you would be alone just because you stood up for yourself but don’t be scared its sometimes best to be alone as you find out who you truly are and you will learn to love yourself. If you ever see someone getting hurt you should stand up for them as one day you might not know you would be in that position and luckily someone may stand up for you.

I know sometimes the truth may be hard to tell someone or to even accept but you have to let it out as you shouldn’t be living your life full of lies I have been there and I just let out the truth because I felt it was right I couldn’t live behind lies I was scared id be alone and yes I did end up alone by telling the truth however I felt better about myself I felt like a stronger person, a different person and I made new friends, a new life. Just because I did what I thought was right and I didn’t want to be afraid no more. I took as a new exciting challenge for myself and this challenge has made me really strong if I could up for myself and not be afraid I am sure you can, I promise you will feel better and good about yourself.

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She builds others up because she knows what it’s like to be torn down

She builds others up because she knows what it’s like to be torn down

Honestly it isn’t a nice feeling being torn down this is honestly why I am writing this blog I do not want anyone in this world feeling the way I have in life. I would have tooken physical pain instead of emotional pain. So I hope my blog does help you out I know my blog may end up getting boring but hey, just comment or message any suggestion blogs you would like me to write and I would try and write all of them.

In life I have been hurt so much it was just awful reaching at the stage I got to I don’t ever think I want to be there again. It is like hanging off a rope on top of river full of crocodiles you just wouldn’t want to drop. That is exactly how I feel right now sometimes I do feel like falling but then I remember the amount of pain I went through, I want to be happy so why not? Why fall when I can keep trying and stay happy just because I am having a few bad days doesn’t mean I should fall. I want to make sure no one else falls either because it is quiet hard going through so much pain especially alone.

So many people have judged me but they don’t understand how life is in my shoes how much I have to put up with how strong I have to be, I got family, friends and love ones I got people relying on me and I know how hard it is so I don’t want people to think they are alone when they are not you got me.

So I hope this blog has helped you and please give me tips and advise on how I could improve, thank you for reading and your support.

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Sometimes I feel like giving up, but then I remember I have a lot of people to prove wrong.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, but then I remember I have a lot of people to prove wrong.

Have you ever felt like just giving up? Just throwing everything out the window and just be blank and not exist? I have. Sometimes life does get tough but that doesn’t give you a reason to give up there are some many people that look up to you; some even wish to be you without you even noticing. You could possibly be someone’s role model or even their super hero.

I understand during your life time you would get a time where you feel like the world is collapsing on you and you have nowhere to go. You sometimes wouldn’t know what to do how to deal with a situation. I have been there a lot of times it can be quiet hard and it just totally makes you feel down. I remember once I got to a point where I had enough with life where I couldn’t just continue anymore. I realised I cannot leave my parents it would hurt them so much if I left this earth because I gave up. My mother gave birth to me and raised me, she didn’t raise me just so I could give up I couldn’t just let her down let my family down.

The fact I got bullied in school everyone was so horrible and judgemental every small thing I did I got judged. I wasn’t liked much because I was different. Once someone said to me “I don’t want to know you, because you’re too nice” like wow! That was not a really nice feeling. My last year of school I was just alone, no friends to hang around at break. I did have friends but they were mostly guys and I got called a bad name for hanging out with them, so I just sat inside alone at break time. It kind of upset me. I didn’t have anyone my best friend left me alone the closest people I had left I had no idea what to do, I felt like the world hated me. But now I look back at it I realise how strong I am, how I put up a year of being alone. I didn’t know I could ever do that, how independent I was how, I didn’t need anyone during my exams, I didn’t need any support by any friends. I just had myself. During this time I found out who I really was and who I wanted to be, so I proved these people wrong and right now I have gone so much further than them in life, that they cannot even make me feel low anymore.

I hope these bullies enjoyed calling me horrible names, because they actually helped me in life they made me a stronger person. They have made me so strong, that next time I get insulted it doesn’t affect me in anyway, I don’t get upset anymore, and it is more like a compliment. So I say thank you bullies for making me stronger than you are! So many people look up to me and I have gone so confident as one person said to me “so many people want to be you don’t let them down” and I cannot let done people who rely on me to go forward. I am just so proud how I have proved these bullies wrong! They pushed me down so down they thought they could break me and destroy me but no I raised above them. To be honest, when someone does say something insulting to me I would use it as feedback to improve in life. Lastly I understood what the difference was between an opinion and a fact.

So I hope this has helped you if you are reading. If you have ever been bullied just raise higher than them because they are only making you stronger don’t let them take advantage of you, you take advantage of the power they are giving you. Bullies are weak people who this they have the power to break people when, no, they don’t. Finally one piece of advice, opinions are facts so don’t take them in just let them go.

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You cannot start another chapter if you keep re-reading the past chapter.

You cannot start another chapter if you keep re-reading the past chapter.

Sometimes to move forward you have to let go of your past. No matter how much it hurts or how much you remember it, because the past is quiet painful at time. Like for example past experiences and events that have happened, but you have to remember you have been through it and how strong you are to be where you are now, on this earth surviving that is the strongest thing anyone can do.

I still remember my past a lot, I have had my heart broke but I know there is someone out there for me, if not then I know I am proud of myself of where I am now by myself. If I do find someone I would be so grateful, but I would never let my past put me down and neither should you. As that could push away people you love the most and it is really not worth it. But I have learnt in life I have to be independent too, sometimes I have to keep myself happy instead of other people happy. In the end of the day it is not my job to make someone else happy, especially if they upset me. So there is no point thinking of my past heart breaks and ex boyfriends, as that is not my problem anymore. I have been strong enough to battle a heart break, if I can do it so can you, I have faith in you all. Sometimes these ex boyfriends come back, but you just have to remember they were an old chapter, would you really go read a book and reread the same chapter over and over again? Not really. So just end the chapter and move forward and keep your head and pride up high and smile.

 I have had horrible events happened to me too, I do remember them now and then. I have to understand bad things do happen in life and I do have to move on from it. Even though it does frighten me but hey, it is part of life going through pain. I do try and forget them but they do come back once a month, I’ll admit to that but then again we’re only human, we cannot totally wipe out memories. Sometimes just small things, objects or places remind me of these things but then I think why these things should resemble such a bad memory, so I try to make it a good memory by creating a new memory, so when I look back at that same place I would remember something good. Sometimes you have to remember you have gone through a bad time and your through it its done out the window, time to look forward and see how you can improve your life and what you have learnt. Something horrible events make me think how could I improve if this happened to me again I try and analyse the event see what I did good or bad what I should do next tie. I do not hold regrets saying I could have done this, I should have done this. No. never hold regrets life is too short to live in regrets its happened and nothing is your fault things happen for a reason sometimes they happen to teach you a lesson use them to improve yourself.

I hope this has helped you out in some sort of way. Just remember you are strong and you are in control do not let your mind control you, you control your mind. Lastly don’t forget you are only human…

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